The majority of couples and families encounter challenges daily which contribute to some domestic dispute and more severe arguments. The final consequence of discord between spouses is divorce. As it was stated in 1990`s, approximately 55% of marriages result in divorce. Upon such decision parents have issue about the impact of divorce on their children. From my point of view divorce affect numerous aspects of a child’s life.
It is not difficult to infer from the materials of researchers in this field that separation of parents is detrimental to a child of any age. Being absorbed in personal thoughts due to divorce adults do not consider the fact of life-long effects which their children gain. According to Lach, “The loss of the powerful mental image of the intact family inflicts the crucial harm” (1999, 14). The essence of Lach’s argument is that children of divorced parents have a tendency to get mental and physical disorders. Researches indicate that such children are likely to be aggressive towards family members and surrounding world on the whole. Enhanced feelings of anxiety, depression and guilt are the most pervasive among children suffering from divorce. They are inclined to take false decisions and can be conveniently influenced by other people. As they become mature such individuals may emerge as criminals and be involved in illegal performances. Furthermore, children who cannot recovery after family breakup try to find solace in drugs or alcoholic beverages. These addictions constitute grounds for evolution of ailments which in some occasions could result in fatality. Additionally, those children who have endured family breakdown are more likely to have marital problems and choose unstable partners as they are terrified of failure and emulating parental instance.
Children and adolescents from divorced families are unjustly deprived of essential matters which ordinary family gives. As the prominent professor Lebowitz puts it, “While their parents might feel liberated by getting out of an unhappy marriage, the kids were bereft” (2001, 48). In other words, Lebowitz believes that during and after family breakdown the youngest members do not obtain full-value compulsory attention and preoccupation. The most vital condition of healthy nurturing is the sense of children that they are beloved by both parents. Unfortunately, arguments preceding divorce itself, the process of marriage dissolution and rehabilitation after such life-changing event capture basically whole time, energy and awareness of spouses. In this period children upbringing is commonly neglected and abandoned. As kids detect the deficiency of parental engagement in their lives they become anxious and attempt to attract attention frequently by anticipated and violent actions.
Relationship between parents and children are obviously endured some significant alteration which result in psychological abnormalities. According to Amato, “Some scholars see the two-parent family as the fundamental institution of society – the setting in which children develop into healthy, competent and productive citizens” (2000, 1269). Amato’s point is that each child needs both parents participation in his life. Nevertheless, the new proportion of parents in child’s schedule is introduced. Custody could be either segregated partially between spouses or one parent take the whole custody on condition other parent has also access to children. This structure of nurturing modifies owing to specific circumstances. The full absence of one parent in the life of children has an adverse impact on their healthy development since one side cannot substitutes the other side due to discrepancy between responsibilities of parents. Custody is commonly won by women, although their financial status may be unsteady than male’s. “Because females have lower-paying jobs and often are not able to collect child support, they cannot provide an adequate standard of living for their families” (Henderson, 1993, 2). Globally, there is resembling picture in the majority of families where men are breadwinners. As women are not successful in earning money, female-headed families encounter financial challenges so children have a sense of anxiety and embarrassment.
By the way of conclusion, it must be mentioned that the most appropriate alternative to couples who have children is not to break the family unit. After some period of cohabitation forgotten feelings of love and tolerance may be revived. Both partners realize that their reasons for divorce are not justified and can be easily resolved. The successful relationship needs some extra time and effort which must be put in order to save family from step.